My Host Father in Japan

Well, today I am going to talk about Tomo-san, my Autosan (father) in Japan

He striked me in the beginning as a very serious man. As you would expect from a univeristy professor.

I was coming to Japan with the image of Japanese men who would wake up at 5.00am in the morning, takes his breakfast with little or no converation with his wife, and then head to work, where he would spend his 10 hours and then go to socilize with his co-workers and drink Saki till 12.00pm... and comes back directly to bed and restart... I thought that he was of that catugary... since he has a large house and the japanese life is a very expensive one... that was my thinking on the way from the Airport to the house...

That was my first impression of him...

He turned out to be the kind of person who would take a while to warm up. And he isn't a work-o-holic as I thought he is, at least not outside the house. He does a great deal of his research in the house, in his room.

I have noted that here, in Japan, the Language barrier tunes down the emotions. The Japanese mastery of the spoken English is not very high due to the little parcitice they do in their daily life or at school (they start learning English in the 7th grade!) ...

However, for your information, Japanese people are excellent English readers and writers. (so if you need to explain something to a Japanese in the street, you have a far better chance of him understanding you if you write it down for him!)

Now, I am happy to say now that Tomoo-san (my host father) is a fascinating character... with many dimensions.

He is a professor in English with a specialty in the First English-Japanese Dictionary. He spent the last 15 years doing research about this subject. (yep! that's not a typo, 15 years on this one subject. When I met him, he was yet to get his Ph.D. He is already 63 years old.

That's how hard it is get a PhD in Literature in Japan. It took him more than 15 years to realise that dream.

And during those 15 years, He was honored with a single celebartion and a prize only very recently for his efforts on the English-Japanese Dictionary, and a 1-min-of-fame on TV. That was the only attention he got from the government media...

How was he able to sustain this far? How could he have such a stamina? That amazes me!!

You have to know that in Japan, they have something called "Support Groups"... and I am not talking AA or Single Mothers or such a western style groups (not that they don't exist her as well). But I am talking of privately created support groups which helps you achieve your long term projects.

Not to mention his wife, Yoshie-san , who was next to him every step of the way... Being the best housewife Tomoo-san would dream of!

Another interesting aspect of Tomoosan is his older brother:

Tomoosan had a brother who had an alcohol problem and passed away around 2 years ago due to Liver cancer. He courageously decided to project his sadness into something positive my capturing his brother's life highlights in a book. His bother was a man who lived for what he believed in.. He described his bother's drinking problem and Tomoosan decided himself that he will quit drinking himself. He was supported all the way with his support group of friends who helped him achieve his dream along the way.

As part of a support group, he recently helped a friend of his to publish a book. That's why he was only able to meet me very briefly on my first day as he went on his weekend to attend a party they threw for his friend's new book!

In addition, he co-founded a support group for Hiroko Noda, the Opera singer I wrote about it in my previous post. They publish a bi-annual newsletter about her, in addition to routine meetings with her...

Now for the part that amazed me most about my Autosan, Tomoosan.. Brace yourselves!

When I was talking with him inside his room, I couldn't help but notice a statue of a figure I remember from my childhood. A character which is older then 60 years old. "الفتى أسترو which was dubbed into Arabic. If I was in Syria, I would have assumed that this belongs to one of his sons... but knowing that Japanese culture, I knew otherwise!

Tomoosan told me his nickname... among his friends, he is known as "Astro Boy"!

He is a big fan! He owns the first issued Comics ever issued for character. Not only that, he keep a couple of action figures on his studying table as well as an "Astro-boy" themed towel as well!

It is amazing how the Japanese keep in touch with their childhood...! Makes me happy to see a 65 years old PhD holder, father of a 2 married kids, and high profile career, proudly displaying his passion in his study room... with no fear of people's judgment.... that is Japan for you!

Although he told me that he didn't read the Comics in around 20 years, I am sure he knows them by heart!

Tomoo-san has shared a part of his success story with me. It was not an easy ride...

Ever his teenagehood he was interested in the English words which entered into the mainstreem of the Japanese language. He started collecting them himself as a hobby.

He entered univeristy and graduated with a degree in English Literature. Although he wanted to work on his project, he found himself underpessure (like we experience ourselves) to find a job, get married and have kids...

As he always thought that he can find time to work on this project. He entered as the new English Language teacher in a local highschool.

However, as the working hours in Japan is demanding (like Dubai :-D) he could not find the time... and time drifted away....

Fast Forward, 20 years later, he found himself becoming the Principle for the highschool he started at. With a well paying a high prestigious career, a great marriage and 2 kids and a daughter in highschool, he had every reason in the world to be happy.. right?

Wrong!

It turns out that his teenagehood dream didn't die... only repressed..!

Repressed dreams have a funny way of showing up when it is least convienant!

This is what happened to Tomoo-san. He found that his job didn't taste as good anymore... his life became routine and meaningless..

He decided that is it the time... it was either now or never!

And as he puts it, he was still young (only 40 years old) and he decided that he will wait, no more!

He did a very bold move... he quite his job to devoit as much time as possible to his research..

He decided to become an English teacher for a "cram school" which was becoming popular in Japan... he did well... and he had a lot of time to focus his research...

Everything went ok... you would imagine in a country like Japan that everything will go ok... right?

Wrong again!

The school went bankrupt! And he became without work...

But did he give up? no... he would not give up on his dream.. he worked did odd job such as a night-watchman, a labor jobs to pay his bills.

At the end, starting with no research background, after 15 years of hard work, the results has started to come, he was recognized by the university and was offered a teaching position, and his financial situation started becoming better and better. He was finally able to enjoy a wealthy lifestyle.

Something we could all learn from!

His advice? "Pursue your passion! Do what you love.. Do it while you're still young... it's much more easier that way..!"

Okasan Photo Gallery

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Update: Autosan has just got his PhD today! It is a historic occasion for the Endo Family! We will be celebrating tonight. His friend has arrived as well just now.